I have a number of friends who are pregnant these days. Most of them are pregnant for the first time. I have a really hard time not bursting into laughter when they tell me how sick they are about getting ‘advice’ and feeling the judgmental looks they get when they indulge in a treat etc.
Those of us who have been blessed enough to go through the first child already know – the ‘worst’ is yet to come. Before I had a kid, I passed under the radar of most people. I didn’t stand out in anyway, I blended into the crowd. Nobody really gave me much of a second look.
That all changes once you have a kid. They attract attention to even the most under-the-radar types of people. They make noise, they touch things, they ask questions, they introduce themselves to strangers. They are mini-representations of you and your belief system that do not have filters on what to say and when it is appropriate to just THINK something and not say it out loud.
Sometimes they don’t have to do anything. Sometimes you can be quietly walking through the store with your kid and attract attention because of the way they look. Unbrushed hair, holes or stains in their clothes (all things I SWORE up and down my kid would never have – HA!)
This past week, Averie attracted attention because she was wearing makeup.
Yes, my four year old had on eye shadow.
Some people looked at her and seemed to think ‘how cute – she wants to be like mommy’ (which is funny, since mommy never wears much make up). The majority, however, looked at her and then looked at me with disgust – as if it was absolutely wrong for me to allow my child to wear makeup.
And WHY was my child wearing makeup?
Because she’s been having meltdowns. Crazy tantrums. Screaming, spitting, drooling and unable to form a coherent thought tantrums. I think it’s part of adjusting to the new school schedule… not quite sure. But when she has make up on she doesn’t do that. She has a much more calm attitude about it – because if she cries, she will “cry her makeup off” and she knows that Mommy won’t give her more. (and the dirty looks multiple ten fold when she mentions this in the checkout line as I’m telling her ‘no’ to buying more candy.)
Perhaps it’s manipulative. Perhaps my child is a little bit of a diva and likes her makeup a little too much. Regardless, it works. She uses her words instead of intangibly screaming and we reach resolutions much faster. It’s temporary, and it’s not EVERY day. In fact, she only gets eye makeup in the mornings if she gets out of bed and starts the day with a good attitude.
So yes, my four year old is wearing makeup, and now that I think about it – perhaps I should start wearing it more often too… but that would require ME to get out of bed with a good attitude. Not sure I’ll ever earn that reward!!