Category: Things Kids Say

Yes, My 4 Year Old Wears Makeup..

I have a number of friends who are pregnant these days.  Most of them are pregnant for the first time.  I have a really hard time not bursting into laughter when they tell me how sick they are about getting ‘advice’ and feeling the judgmental looks they get when they indulge in a treat etc.

Those of us who have been blessed enough to go through the first child already know – the ‘worst’ is yet to come.  Before I had a kid, I passed under the radar of most people.  I didn’t stand out in anyway, I blended into the crowd.  Nobody really gave me much of a second look.

That all changes once you have a kid.  They attract attention to even the most under-the-radar types of people.  They make noise, they touch things, they ask questions, they introduce themselves to strangers.  They are mini-representations of you and your belief system that do not have filters on what to say and when it is appropriate to just THINK something and not say it out loud.

Sometimes they don’t have to do anything.  Sometimes you can be quietly walking through the store with your kid and attract attention because of the way they look.  Unbrushed hair, holes or stains in their clothes (all things I SWORE up and down my kid would never have – HA!)

This past week, Averie attracted attention because she was wearing makeup.

Yes, my four year old had on eye shadow.

Averie in Makeup

Some people looked at her and seemed to think ‘how cute – she wants to be like mommy’ (which is funny, since mommy never wears much make up).  The majority, however, looked at her and then looked at me with disgust – as if it was absolutely wrong for me to allow my child to wear makeup.

And WHY was my child wearing makeup?

Because she’s been having meltdowns.  Crazy tantrums.  Screaming, spitting, drooling and unable to form a coherent thought tantrums.  I think it’s part of adjusting to the new school schedule…  not quite sure.  But when she has make up on she doesn’t do that.  She has a much more calm attitude about it – because if she cries, she will “cry her makeup off” and she knows that Mommy won’t give her more.  (and the dirty looks multiple ten fold when she mentions this in the checkout line as I’m telling her ‘no’ to buying more candy.)

Perhaps it’s manipulative.  Perhaps my child is a little bit of a diva and likes her makeup a little too much.   Regardless, it works.  She uses her words instead of intangibly screaming and we reach resolutions much faster.    It’s temporary, and it’s not EVERY day.  In fact, she only gets eye makeup in the mornings if she gets out of bed and starts the day with a good attitude.

So yes, my four year old is wearing makeup, and now that I think about it – perhaps I should start wearing it more often too…  but that would require ME to get out of bed with a good attitude.  Not sure I’ll ever earn that reward!!

New Years Cookies are not ‘Stupid’

Normally I try to make Christmas cookies for our neighbors.  This year I was busy with Christmas orders (more on that later) so instead, I opted to make New Years cookies for the neighbors (unfortunately in a Christmas box – but nobody seemed to notice or at least care)!

I took the cookies outside to set the plate in the daylight with the white snow as a backdrop.  I like the look of it – I don’t know what I’ll do once we lose the snow – I may have to actually cave and build a lightbox…

New Years Eve Sugar Cookies

I had decided to make an attempt at the ‘surprise’ cookies someone had shared with me on my Facebook page.  They were relatively easy to make – the only downside was that I felt the need to ice the sides of the cookies.  The cookies were REALLY tall (like, pushing 2 inches tall).  Averie didn’t care, she was excited to eat her cookie.  She stood on the porch watching as I started my return into the house – super excited to eat her cookie with all the ‘candy’ in the middle…

…and then she stared in shock as Mommy fell flat on her face while I was trying to make it UP the steps.  I’m talented, I know.

In that moment, she was concerned because her cookie/candy was scattered on the snow of the top step of our house.  I, on the other hand, was concerned that I couldn’t feel my toes and my knee was throbbing.

I kept telling her to get inside, get out of the way and that I’d get the cookie in a minute.  Meanwhile, she kept pointing and repeating “My Cookie! My Candy!”.

At some point I yelled “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE STUPID COOKIE – GET IN THE HOUSE!”

She retorted: “We don’t say ‘stupid'” and walked back inside.

Once we were inside – I did have to apologize.  Her cookie wasn’t stupid (in fact, I thought they were kind of awesome if I do say so myself)…  and Mommy shouldn’t have said that.  But we had to have a talk about how things like cookies can be replaced and people can’t.  By the time we were done she seemed to realize that we should have been more worried that a person was hurt than about her cookie being scattered in the snow.

She made it right, she gave me kisses and cuddles and went to get me an ice pack.

“I can’t reach the peas so I brought you a cold sammich”

…and yes, I did ‘ice’ my knee with a ‘sammich’.

I didn’t call anything ‘stupid’ for the rest of the day.  I also didn’t go back outside to take the rest of my pictures.  I stayed inside – safe, dry and warm.

I’m sure I’ll have a lovely bruise to share in another day or so.  I can’t even put pressure on my knee without wanting to scream actually screaming.

I have, however, decided that cookies can be stupid, although I’ll never tell Averie that.  It’s the leftover extra cookies that are stupid — only because I eat them ALL.  Oops.

Dear Santa… Mommy wants a charger!

Averie and I had a girls day in Amana and visited the Tannenbaum Festival…  We were supposed to get there in time to check out all the trees with Averie’s friend Lucy, but we didn’t end up being quite so timely thanks to a road closure…

She did get to color a picture to put on the wall in the barn…

I am a terrible blogger though – I forgot the memory card in my camera, so I wasn’t able to snap photos of all of the trees or the nativity scene — but I will assure you that they were all absolutely beautiful!  I should have used my phone like I did with the other snapshots — and I’ll remind myself to do better there next time!

I did, thankfully, have enough space on the camera itself to get two pictures — which I used to get pictures of Averie with Santa…  and I thought they turned out pretty good for only getting two snaps to work with!

She let Santa know that she wanted a “Green Camera” and a “toothbrush like Daddys”.  Santa misheard her though and thought she wanted to get a toothbrush for Daddy….  so Santa asked if she wanted to get Mommy anything.  Averie thought for a moment and said “My mommy wants a charger”.

She must have been listening to me griping in the car on the way down when I couldn’t get my car charger to work!!

Needless to say, Santa did bring Mommy her car charger this year!

After chatting with Santa, we looked at all the different trees and Averie hopped into the train cars for a moment before we took off…

But we didn’t take off to go home…  we were in the Amanas, and she was hungry…  so we just *HAD* to go get food!

Alllll of this for just the TWO of us!

Averie of course kept it classy and double-fisted most of her meal — fried chicken in one hand and candy cane in the other…  and yes, yes she did rotate back and forth.  Blech!!!

D is for Daddy

I shared this on Facebook when it happened, but wanted to take a moment to ‘immortalize it’ here…

Somebody wrote on the couch:

20121217-223656.jpg

When I confronted her she answered:

Well… It wasn’t me, I am an A for Averie. That looks kinda like a D for Daddy…

Smart little turkey!

Dr and Patient Averie

I never used to get sick.  I might have mentioned this before, but ever since having Averie, it’s become inevitable that I will contract whatever illness it is that is floating around…  I think it might have had more to do with exhaustion this year  though.  Too many 3 AM nights of decorating cookies and not getting enough sleep.

I picked up Averie from Daycare, reheated some dinner for her and fell down on the couch and told Averie I just needed to rest.  After she ate her dinner she went into her toy room and returned with her “Stetherscope” and checked my heart and used drumstick to check my “tempature”.  After she concluded I was sick she brought my her favorite blankie, tucked me in and told me to take a nap.

I didn’t really take a nap – but I did just lay there.  She told me she was going to make me some dinner and not to look.  It’s *HARD* to hear a 3 year old getting in and out of the fridge without panicking, but somehow I made it through – she came out of the kitchen, biggest smile ever on her face…

I made you a sammich!

I couldn’t get the bread so you have to just pretend its there okay?

 

Unfortunately, sickness really did kick in for both her and I a few days later…

On the upside — she did use the bowl correctly this time though!  I think it might have been last year that this happened, but I’m not 100%…  I had given her a bowl and told her to “use it if your tummy starts to hurt”.  I turned around and the next thing I knew she was laying on the floor with her tummy in the bowl.  When I asked what she was doing:

My tummy hurts, so I put it in the bowl like you said Mama! It works!

I have to admit — I kind of wish I had a bowl big enough for my tummy just so I could try it too….

That’s WONDERFUL!!

I always hear people mention how amazing it must be to see a world through a kids’ eyes.  They are amazed by the simplest of things…  like the fact that I can draw a fish and a star…  (good thing Aaron’s around with his more impressive art skills as she gets older and the stars are no longer as ‘awesome’)!

More than that though – kids truly appreciate things.  Sometimes we forget about the little things in life.  We forget to be thankful and appreciative and often take things for granted.

I’m no exception.

We were running late to get out the door the other day.  Averie was putzing along and I was doing my typical list of mommy rants and raves about how we are going to be late and that she really needs to get a move on.  We opened the door and the garbage truck was coming down the street.

MOMMY!  It’s a GARBAGE TRUCK!!

“Yep, it is – get in the car, we have to go” probably wasn’t the most understanding statement I’ve made in my 3 years of parenthood, but truth be told – I’m sure it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve said either.

I’ve never seen one before.  Where are they taking all of our garbage?  Hey!  He’s strong! He just picked it up and threw it in!  

By this point the amazement and excitement in her voice and the look on her face clued me in that I really should probably take a second to stop and “smell the roses”.  (I should probably pick a different phrase since we’re talking about stinky garbage here, but I can’t come up with one…).

Averie watching the garbage truck going around the block… with her coat on backwards (I wasn’t even going to bother arguing I was in such a hurry at the time!)

I explained that they take all of the garbage to the dump – which is a place that  garbage goes so it can be piled up and turned back into ‘dirt’, and that the garbage men drive the garbage truck to everyone’s house to get their garbage to take it for them.  Probably not the most technically accurate explanation I’ve ever given – but it was enough for a three-year old anyway!

That’s WONDERFUL!

Her response kind of floored me – it was so genuine, she was so glad someone was going to take her garbage to the dump…  I don’t think I’ve ever stopped for a second to think about how wonderful it is that someone drives to my front door to pick up our garbage, that we don’t have to take it to the dump, and that it doesn’t just sit in our streets…

“You’re right, it is!”  was my response.

And when the garbage men pulled up to our house next, she popped her head out from next to the car and waved frantically and yelled:

HI!!  Thank you for taking our garbage to the dirt pile!!

I so love her, and her ability to open up my eyes to the world around me too!

Mommy’s Helper – Gifts for Santa

I constantly whine about wanting a maid – but the reality is, I think we already have a housekeeper.

Averie’s toyroom is usually one of the cleanest rooms in the house.  She manages to keep things picked up (most days).  Her bedroom – that’s a different story — but that’s usually due to laundry — which isn’t something we have her doing yet.

If she sees the TV stand is dusty, she will literally run to the kitchen and go grab her Norwex mitt and dust it off.

She cleaned all the windows in the house the other day.  Again – thanks to Norwex.  🙂

I even have photographic evidence of those two previously mentioned moments!

Sunday I was cleaning the kitchen — my intent was just to wipe down the counters and get out of there, but Averie came in behind me.

“Can I help?”

Of course.  So she grabbed a scrubbing brush off the counter and proceeded to scrub just about anywhere she could find.  Singing while she was doing it.

“We want to do something for Daddy.  We have to clean the kitchen for Daddy, for Daddy, for Daddy.  We have to get the kitchen sparkly together..”

I really wish I had tried to record her earlier in her singing — by the time I got the camera phone out she was pretty much done singing, and pretty much done cleaning too… but it’s still evidence.

The song was inspired from the Christmas Classics Volume 1 on Netflix.  Averie loves older cartoons.  As I type this — she’s watching Godzilla.  She also loves Sky Dancers.    Don’t have netflix?  You can watch the whole movie – and a few other classics – on youtube here…    The video it’s in starts at about 9 minutes into the show about kids who want to do something nice for Santa since he’s always doing nice things for everyone else.

It’s sweet – and Averie now wants to get a present for Santa.  Apparently he would like a guitar.  Not so sure that will work!  Thinking we’ll maybe just draw him a picture or make a little project and she can take it to him when we visit at the mall.

Oh, and now my kitchen was scrubbed from top to bottom, instead of just the counter tops!